I was diagnosed with lupus in 1996. Looking back, I realize how fortunate I was to be diagnosed the way I was. I had swelling in my ankles and knees, and when I came home from a trip, I went to my doctor about it. She ran some blood tests, called me the next day, and told me to come back to the office immediately. My kidneys were beginning to fail. It’s amazing how we can keep going with our lives without realizing how sick we are, how those feelings become our new normal.

The next nine months were probably the worst of my life. I was put on prednisone right away, and within three months I went from a size 5 to a size 20. I was so uncomfortable with the water weight all over my body that the only thing I could look at without crying was my nails. I’ve never gotten back down to a size 5, and that was 30 years ago. But I have been blessed through the many diagnoses I’ve had over the years.

Since then, I’ve had fluid in my heart, lungs, and brain. An unknown infection in my breast put me in the ICU for two weeks, followed by six weeks of IV medication at home and as many as 23 pills a day. Add to that some weird one-time issues and accidents. In five of the last seven years, I’ve had to call 911 or go to the emergency room at least once.

Wellness looks very different to me now than it did before my diagnosis. For me, wellness means resilience. It means showing up for myself and my community the best I can on any given day. And even when it was hard to look at anything but my nails, it means knowing I can get through this, because I am resilient.

- Vancy Ashby, Fitchburg, WI